What's your favourite vacation spot and why?
Where I like to go on holiday it doesn't mean it's the biggest or the best or anything is down in Victoria, towards Torquay and Ocean Grove, only 'cos I spent so much time holidaying there as a kid that it kind of means something to me. My dad still holiday's down in Bowen Heads and I've got a sister who lives in Ocean Grove, so family are there so I love it down there. Plus, there's Bells Beach and I'm an amazing surfer!
Shane: I can't surf at all or float.
Paul: I'm torn between Parramatta in the western suburbs of Sydney, 'cos that's where I grew up mostly, and Rome 'cos I just love Rome. They've got ancient history. But out here, my mother's ancient history. Anything more than about 80 years old is our history; it's so short. Yeah Rome, I could hang around there for years. And I like Italians!
What's your number-one travel tip?
If you look like the photo in your passport, you're simply not well enough to travel. I've never seen anyone look good in their passport photo and if you look exactly like it you shouldn't get on a plane 'cos you're crook.
Paul: You're crook? Yeah probably! Number-one travel tip? Well if you're married and you have children, the best way to do it is send them on a separate flight with all their bags and their things. If you're like me, you can live out of an overnight bag and sort of say, "Ah, I got a bit of business, love. You go over there and I'll join you there." That's the best tip travel by yourself if you possibly can.
Shane: And if you're Australian, which we are, don't be afraid to say you're from Australia because it doesn't seem to hurt.
Paul: Doesn't hurt!
Shane: It's a good sort of emotional passport or a character passport. But say, "Yeah, sorry I don't know where I'm going I'm from Australia", and people tend to say, "Aah, from Australia."
Paul: "Australia, good on you!"
Shane: So that works alright.
Paul: Yeah, but behave yourself.
What do you never leave home without?
My pants on, I think it looks silly getting on the plane in your underpants. That would be my number-one tip and, ah, clearly a passport and don't leave home without a smile 'cos when you're overseas, you're representing Australia, so bung a smile on!
Paul: I can add nothing to that, that's perfect!
Shane: That's it?
Paul: This is a man who knows how to travel.
Shane: Smile, pants, passport.
Paul: What he says, take it seriously, for once.
What was the best thing about making this movie?
Working with Paul Hogan and seeing Australia.
Paul: Working with Shane Jacobson and seeing Australia. And working with Dean Murphy, who wrote and directed the film, and us two clowns made each other laugh all day and then he'd come over and bury us with a line or two. The mongrel was funny!
Shane: Yeah, we try and be funny, but Dean Murphy is funny! There's a difference.
Paul: So your know it was laughter every day, the best fun I've ever had, I think.
What's your favourite location in the film?
My favourite location in Australia was the Barrier Reef, but we just flew over it we never got there. But, ah, tell 'em, same place.
Shane: Yeah, Hay Plains in south-west New South Wales, we love the Hay Plains. But don't pack up your family in a box and send them there. Don't say, "Kids, we got a recommendation from Hoges and Shane Jacobson we're on our way to the Hay Plains." No, because you're going to see nothing, but that's what we love about it!
Paul: They'll get there and go, "There's nothing here! Any way you look, there's nothing here!", but it's beautiful. It's the clean horizon in every direction. It's not dirty old desert you can go to plenty of places in the world and see nothing but you're still in the desert. This is not a desert. This is like a huge backyard that goes to the horizon in every direction except for one tree.
Shane: There was one tree.
Paul: And I really wanted to go and cut it down 'cos it ruined the whole effect. But that's not a place to go for a vacation. It's just, it's one of those places you drive through and you know where you are 'cos you can only be in one country when you go through there.
Shane: And Australians are like that, Ayers Rock is a massive rock or monolith sitting in the middle of nowhere. I think if you sat Ayers Rock in Parramatta in Sydney, everyone would go, "Oh s--t, that's big, we better get that out of the way!"
Paul: Or someone would build on it or whatever, but it's because it's out there and there's nothing else there.
What's your best Australian travel experience?
I'd have to say that this movie has been the best experience because we travelled right up and down the bloody continent up, we didn't come down. And we travelled with about 70 people and all of them were just terrific. I always have a rule on movie shoots, 'cos I'm usually the producer or co-producer or writer or something, no A-holes allowed. Anyone who's a whinger, I get rid of them in the first couple of days. And on this shoot there were none.
It was just a pleasure to go to "ha, ha, ha" work every day. And then I'd be with him [Shane] and Dean and it would be sort of like, "This is ridiculous," I'm getting paid to get up and eat like a king and be entertained by these people all day, and have an entourage, which I wasn't paying, to come in a rub my shoulders and put on make-up, and cut my hair and do it right, it doesn't get any better than that!
Shane: No, tough job.
Paul: It was a holiday, nine weeks' holiday.
Shane: That someone filmed.
Paul: Yeah, yeah!
Are there any places in Australia that you love, or that you visit all the time?
For me, I'm not saying that it's the best place for everyone to visit but it's what I get out of it, on the Murray up near Echuca-way in Victoria. There's a place up there that I quite often go and it's called Torrumbarry. And a lot of water skiers go there. But for the fisherman, I'm sorry I know the boats are annoying and loud. But camping on the river up there is something I haven't done for a little while but I hope to do it soon.
I like pitching a tent, lighting a fire and sitting by a river to me, that's relaxing. I've done it with friends before who haven't camped and you set up a tent and light a fire and grab a drink and they go, "So what do we do now?" and you go, "Well, this is it, we're doing it; this is a holiday." So, that, and I don't mind heading north to the warmer weather when it's a cold in Melbourne, and Tassy, I'll put Tassy there, too.
Paul: Byron Bay, I'll be there in a week. I'm an old surfer, not good, just old. And Darwin! Darwin's one of the last great colourful outlaw hangouts in the world. A night in Darwin makes a hard man tremble; worse than Bangkok.